Ever seen Shrek? As an INTJ woman I identify with Shrek and Donkey's conversation in which Shrek claims, "Ogres are like onions!" Listen in, but, in your mind, replace "ogres" with INTJs!
Donkey totally misunderstands! "They stink?" "Oh, they make you cry?" "Oh, ya leave 'em out in the sun and they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs?" All of which, perhaps not the hair-sprouting part, has surely been said about INTJs! "No!" Shrek yells, "they have layers!"
We're known for being difficult to read and are certainly not the most adept of all types with people, but what most people don't see is that if you peel us back in layers we have all sorts of hidden treasures!
As is the case with most Introverts, the best parts of us are hidden below the surface. Our hold-the-world-at-arms-length approach to life makes it hard for others to see what's in our hearts and minds...but there is a lot in there!
Here is an non-exhaustive list of things it would be nice for non-INTJs to know (although, we're OK if you don't want to take note of it...we still know we're awesome):
INTJs are passionate people. On the outside we are a pillar of silence and strength. On the inside our minds are like tornadoes and our resolve is unstoppable. When we care about something or someone, it is deep and meaningful. We have strong feelings, we just hold them very close and only let them out in the presence of someone we trust.
INTJs are pretty funny. Perhaps our sense of humor is a little dry, or maybe too morbid for your taste, but every INTJ I know appreciates a good laugh (sometimes we're laughing on the inside). More often than not our best material is saved for ourselves, our very closest friends, or our writing...but it's there, and it's FUNNY!
INTJs search constantly for improvement! You might feel this in our sometimes critical nature, but what we're really getting at is making everything better, stronger, and more effective! This includes ourselves. We might not readily admit our faults but deep down we know we have them and look for ways to improve ourselves too.
INTJs are not above feeling lonely. Even when we pretend that we don't need anyone, we have a desire to connect deeply with people. But, when small talk is like a foreign language it makes building relationships a challenge! This is especially true for INTJ women--being less than 1% of the population means that we don't find too many kindred spirits out there, and when we do, they are usually male, which complicates things.
INTJs are like onions! Yes, sometimes we stink, and make people cry, but what we're really trying to say is that what you see is not all you'll get with an INTJ. Peel back the layers and you'll find a complex and, we do say so ourselves, pretty spectacular individual!