Introverted Funk

I'm reading a book called Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam McHugh.  As I'm nearing the end of the book I feel I have not fully harnessed it's potential ability to change my life and so I will most likely read it again when I'm done.  There is a lot of practical wisdom crammed between its figurative cover (What will we ever do with our book-inspired metaphors now that everyone, including myself, have e-readers?). 

This book has helped me identify some unhealthy patterns in my life and given me the "permission" to set rhythms to my life that fit me.  I've recently crawled out of a pretty dark place, both emotionally and spiritually with symptoms that felt a lot like depression.  In this book McHugh suggest that when many Introverts feel they are experiencing depression, they are often actually entrenched in an Introverted burn out. 

I was burned out on ministry, extended beyond my limits, and then experienced a loss of feeling centered (which is so important to us Introverts!) for an extended period of time.  I wore anger, apathy, depression, and anxiety like different hats each day.  I disconnected from relationships and found myself doing as little as possible each day.  I was in an Introverted Funk, not to lessen some very real aspects of Spiritual warfare and ministry challenges that were also in play.  But, being able to look back and give appropriate labels to what I experienced is going to be key in helping me not repeat this pattern in my life.  Who knew, eating chocolate was not listed as a helpful strategy for regaining equilibrium.  If clothes could cheer there would be a chorus from my closet at this thought!

McHugh talks about setting rhythms that allow us as Introverts to Engage and Retreat in the outer world.  These include daily rhythms, as well as different seasons in life and ministry.  In order to embrace who God made me, I have to learn to maximize my gifts and steward my person.  I need time of quiet to recharge, daily, weekly, etc. to "retreat" in order that I can fully give myself to the service of others. 

It's easy to feel guilty about our need to "retreat."  Extroverts don't understand it.  Extroverted spouses don't get it, children can't comprehend it, and friends, co-workers, and society generally look down upon it.  But feeling guilty about it isn't acknowledging the fact that God knew what He was doing when He made us Introverts!  It's also easy to ignore the discipline necessary to be healthy and resort to eating copious amounts of chocolate cake, or living with feelings of apathy and cringing when people suggest any get together at all...but it doesn't have to be and shouldn't be that way.

It takes. I think, extra intentionality to be a healthy Introvert in such an Extroverted world.  We need to give ourselves permission to be who God made us to be, while finding opportunities to stretch ourselves.  I'm working hard to discipline myself into healthy rhythms so I can be a better missionary, wife, and mother.  It's a day to day process I can only hope I will get more adept at with time.
Get the book...it might change your life too!

The Beginning

I'm a female INTJ, and even at 29, I'm still trying to figure out what that means for my life.  I feel my passions and giftings go against the grain, and in comparison to most women they do.  I decided to start this blog because I've begun to see that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way.

Last year I wrote a blog post entitled I'm an INTJ Woman and a Freak of Nature and I got several responses from INTJ women who, I could tell, have a long history of battling the same feelings I've had.  Then I noticed that I had three times as many visits to that blog post than any other I'd written and figured I had to be on to something.  We may not bump into one another regularly (maybe because we're not the social type) but it's nice to know that we're not alone in the world.

So, I decided to start this blog as a way to tell other INTJ women that we're OK.  It seems like that's something we struggle with accepting, although no one would ever know from our presentation of ourselves.  And, also to learn from others as I continually seek what it means to follow Christ as the person He has formed me to be.

These are just my thoughts and opinions on life as a woman, wife, mother, missionary, Christ-follower, bookworm, avid people watcher, and being an INTJ!