4 Apps for Surviving Motherhood

I struggle. A lot. I feel like I shouldn't be struggling so much because somehow everyone else must have this whole raising kids, homeschooling, doing ministry thing worked out. And, maybe they do, but I'm guessing there are at least a few moms out there who, like me, feel constantly overwhelmed and a little lost in life. I mean, even now, while trying to type this first paragraph I have been interrupted multiple times, have had to get up at least 3 times to discipline my wayward toddler, and have spent at least 15 minutes trying to defuse ADHD outbursts.

I feel like I can never get anything done, which is extremely defeating for this check-off-the-to-do-list person! Now, I know, taking care of discipline and working through emotional outbursts and doing the laundry (after your baby has spit up on herself and YOU for the FOURTH time that day) is important but it is hard and often lonely work. "The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength," my theme for 2017, has been a constant prayer, and yet I still struggle.

Often I hear people talk about the theology behind what moms do or remind us of priorities but sometimes I just wish someone could tell me a few practical steps to manage it all, dang it!! How do I get it all done? How do I manage to not lose myself? How do I find time to be with the Lord? How do I fight off the loneliness? I need something practical that I can apply to my day and help me get through and that won't make me feel shame and guilt if I don't execute perfectly!

So, I want to share with you 4 apps that i use on my phone that make a difference for me in the midst of the hard, the lonely, and the overwhelming. They aren't life-changers but, really, I'll take anything at this point, right?

The Daily Audio Bible
I found this app when a friend and I were talking about how to spend more time in the Scripture, when we never seemed to have the time or emotional energy to do a traditional "quiet time." As a busy, exhausted mom of little kids I'm trying to embrace the Susanna Wesley approach to spirituality (mom of John Wesley, and 9 other kids, who would throw her apron over her head in order to have prayer time amid the chaos).

It's hard to find the space for deep, quiet study in my life right now, although it is important to find some time for that too. So instead I am embracing this season of life and looking for ways to infiltrate my days with short prayers, small doses of scripture, and--for lack of a better word--mindfulness. I made my phone lock screen a picture of my theme verse. I wear a necklace a friend gave me that represents seeking the joy of the Lord. I say a prayer for a friend when I see her photo pop up on Facebook. And, I use the Daily Audio Bible app. It's $0.99 and worth all 99 pennies.

Your Bible guide, Brian, (and his sometimes over the top background nature soundtrack) reads through the Bible in a year and you can listen along! You can select the link for the whole daily reading for that day, which includes the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm, & Proverbs and his commentary on the passages at the end, or just choose one of those to listen to. It even has the readings in other languages and a reading for kids where Brian's daughter reads the New Testament passage for the day. I listen while I get ready or make dinner or do laundry. It also has the super cool acronym of DAB, so my friend asks me if I DABed today :).

Voxer

Momming can be lonely. Especially when you're a homeschooling, work-from-home mom! I'm an Introvert but even I need a few relationships in my life! Most of my family and friends live out of state and I am not a phone person. Even if I was, it seems impossible to coordinate time to talk with my family and friends between everyone's family schedules, work schedules, and different time zones. But, a few years ago a friend introduced me to the Voxer app and we've been voxering ever since!

This is a free app (although there is an upgraded version for a fee) in which you can send voice messages to people. It's the next best thing to a phone conversation and is WAY more convenient for a mom with young kids (and an introvert). I can listen to my friend's message when I have a minute and send her a response the next time my kids have stopped wrestling and screaming! I can send my sister a message while she's at work and then she and my niece can send one back with she gets home. Sometimes I Voxer in real time with folks but other times it's just a fun way to let someone know you're thinking of them or tell them a funny story without having to figure out schedules for a phone call.

Google Calendar

I'm schedule oriented...my husband is not! Trying to juggle the kids' schedules and family events and our constantly changing ministry schedules is impossible without clear coordination. Being able to share calendars is awesome. My husband MUST add all meetings to his calendar (which I can view) on pain of death :). Our life is run by Google Calendar! But another feature that I love on the mobile app is the "Reminder." I put all the random things I need to do that I think I will remember, but never actually remember, in as a "Reminder" and try to schedule it for a time I think I will have a moment to take care of that task. It will even automatically link phone numbers or emails, etc., if, for example, the task is to contact someone. Awesome! Even if I don't get to the task at that moment it will roll over each day until I mark it done. And it feels so nice to check that "Done" button!

Evernote

If you haven't noticed, I'm a list person and Evernote is a great, free app for lists and so much more! My use of Evernote is pretty basic compared to what it can do, but it's a great way to keep things in one place and easily accessible from my computer to my phone. I feel like, as a Mom, I constantly have a million things scrolling through my mind: to-do lists, research on issues with kids, school, work and this app helps me try to stay on top of it all.

Sometimes I use it as a place to dump info about different topics, like when I'm researching homeschool curriculum, and store all my thoughts and lists and links in one "Note." Other times I make a Note with a specific list like when we are travelling and I make a packing list with our 500 bajillion items so I don't forget anything. I use it for work to take notes or organize task lists. And, have I mentioned that when making lists it gives you a little check box next to the task that you can ACTUALLY CHECK OFF!!!??


Nothing can make this mom-gig easy, but sometimes it's the little helps that get you through the day. These are my top 4 survival apps. What are yours?

The Joy of the Lord is your Strength

Early last year the Lord gave me the phrase "Work smarter with a heart at peace." It spoke to the season I was in of needing to prioritize life and ministry in order to survive and my desperate need to embrace the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding in the face of life's constant transitions and anxieties. I still have so far to go in these areas but the practice of using this phrase as an encouragement, rebuke, and guiding principle for the year fostered so much growth.

I didn't intentionally choose a new focus for this year, but in the past couple of months the Lord has been unmistakably speaking to me of joy and its connection to my strength for the day. 

I'm in a tough season of life for me personally: a task-oriented introvert deep in the chaos of young children and homeschooling, with a newborn arriving imminently and household and ministry responsibilities leaving a growing line of check boxes that glare at and goad me with their emptiness. 

Most days I feel like I am just surviving. I get frustrated and angry and resentful and feel so alone...and yet NEVER ALONE. Deep, pervasive joy is hard for me to imagine in the face of daily monotony and zombie exhaustion. Oh sure, there is joy in listening to my kids' laughter or seeing the Lord do a mighty work in a ministry event but the strength to meet each moment of the day with determined joy? It seems an impossible dream. And then I worry that by my example I will teach my children that following the Lord is a joyless and impossible task, and parenting is a burden best just gotten through--neither of which are the truth. 

And then one day a few weeks ago the Lord brought to mind Nehemiah 8.10 - "The joy of the Lord is your strength." I felt the words rush in and settle down through my body and into my soul and I felt desperate for the hope of it. 

Joy.

Strength.

Yes. I instantly recognized the deep need for these in my life.

And so, in the weeks that have followed--being 8 months pregnant, moving, homeschooling, mothering a challenging toddler, and stepping into new life and ministry responsibilities--I have found myself breathing this verse out as a desperate prayer and life-saving promise when I have felt too inadequate and burdened and exhausted to conquer the task at hand. It is followed quickly by the prayer, "Lord, teach me what that even means" because it is clear that I don't understand it yet.

As I meditate on this verse throughout the year I'm asking the Lord to show me what it means to live into His joy and to be able to look at the future (whether it is the hours, months, or years ahead of me) with strength and joy instead of panic and discouragement. 

I trust that He will answer my request because He is a good Father. And, so, I am going to rest in the knowledge that this isn't just one more thing I have to do this year, but something that can, and will, be poured into my weary self as I draw near to the Lord.

With that, my few precious moments alone are drawing to a close and as I get back in my van to drive back to the responsibilities of the rest of the day I am tempted to feel discouraged, but instead I will repeat "The joy of the Lord is your strength."

Amen.

____

Image from French Press Mornings

Hope for the Introverted Mother

The thing about being an Introverted mom is that you spend nearly every waking minute with people, and not just any people, demanding, needy, little people who have no care or concern for personal space. Almost every moment of the day drains you, even the amazing moments. Motherhood in general, and Introverted mothering in particular, can often leave you feeling poured out and spent and yet feeling like everything you gave still wasn't enough. It's easy to lose yourself because where you know yourself best is in the space of the internal you and, let's be honest, who has the time or energy to focus on that when all day is "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mama....!"

Personally, I find this leads to the indulgence of mind-numbing behavior in the rare moments I have to myself because I don't feel like I have even an ounce of energy left to pour into the development of my internal emotional, mental, and spiritual development. My investment in spiritual growth wanes and my pursuit of things that energize me gets put on hold, and slowly I begin to drift, feeling lost in the sea of my exhaustion and suddenly a stranger to myself. It is then that I become full of guilt and resentment and impatience.

I've found myself drifting again recently, feeling empty and without the emotional reserves needed to respond to the challenges inherent in the day. We've had a few really awful days at our house recently and I've felt like a caged beast (an exhausted and insane Momzilla) trapped with other little caged beasts just trying to survive. Today, however, I ran out the door to Panera Bread as if my life depended on it, leaving my husband and children waving on the porch, to whom (I guiltily realized later) I didn't even turn and wave to as I sped down the block.

I took my Bible and my laptop and claimed my favorite back corner booth to slowly start to row for shore. I read in Psalm 73 where it says, "How good it is to be near God," and admitted to myself and God that I wasn't drawing near and I hadn't been filled with that feeling of goodness. Usually I feel guilty and sort of helpless as I try to muster the strength to change, but today God reminded me of mercy. In Eugene Peterson's A Long Obedience in the Same Direction he writes that we can come to God as children who are loved. Even though we can't comprehend the fullness of God, we never have to draw near to him wondering what we will get in return, for "We know very well what to expect, and what we expect is mercy."

He is a good and merciful father--my father. I am his child. Too often, in the face of the draining list of my children's (and the rest of life's) needs, I forget that I have a father to whom I can bring all of my needs, who never grows weary of hearing "Dad, Dad, Dad...."

The hope for the Introverted Mother is the mercy of God, our heavenly father, our refuge in the onslaught of constant sibling bickering, our strength to answer one more "Why?" and our grace when we feel we are running on fumes for the bedtime routine. He is our shelter in the never ending chaos, a calm place where we can once again find the self he made us to be. It is good to be near God, a position, which if we let it, will gently pull our exhausted selves deeper still into enough mercy to cover it all.

The Scattered Mind

As a whole, INTJs not only seek, but need, depth and meaning in their lives. Not that we are above being shallow, but I find myself feeling less and less myself when I feel scattered and unfocused and have little time to spend in deep thought.

But what do you do when life is busy and you have a four-year-old running around beating on drums and overflowing toilets so that the crescent waterfall floods the bathroom floor and inch full? My brain feels easily scattered and tired and in need of a meeting with my soul. I want, even need, to take time to think deeply, but that is hard work, and when I feel pulled in different directions and distracted by life's constant noise, it's just easier to succumb to anesthetizing activities.

And then I feel less myself and more scattered.

When Adam McHugh, in Introverts in the Church, describes the schedule he maintains to acknowledge his Introverted need to recharge and contemplate during the day, I feel like his life must be like heaven! The book has some exceptional insights, but for most of us, the luxury of space and time in our daily schedule is something we only dream about--especially if you are a mom. And so, it becomes about priorities, giving up some things to get others.

I can't have hours of freedom during the day to think and pray and write, I have a four year old and a ministry role. I have laundry and grocery shopping and friends who are going through crises. But, not only does my personality desire depth, my faith demands it; and so, I have decisions to make.

Writing draws my thoughts together in a way that nothing else does, and I love it. But, it is also hard work--excruciatingly hard! No one promised me that depth came easily, although some days I guess I assume that it does. So, do I decide to reign in the scattered thoughts in my head, measure them by the Lord, and pour them out on paper like a blood offering, or do I watch another show on Netflix? Do I take the time to think and pray or do I snag a few extra hours of sleep?

Despite what the world tells me, I can't have it all. I can have the redeeming challenge of depth or I can have the deceptive ease of shallowness. I must choose, and the choice is obvious, although perhaps uncomfortable, because a scattered and shallow mind does no one any good.

When Silence is Better than Sleep

I love to sleep.  It's been shown that Introverts need more sleep than Extroverts and if I'm any indication, it's true.  The worst thing about mornings is that they come every single day.  If it wasn't a requirement for life, I'd do away with them all together.  I can sleep for hours, take a nap, and sleep some more.

Parenting makes me tired.  Probably more than anything else.  The talking, the lack of personal space, the constant activity...the talking.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my Little Nut for anything but, seriously, it's exhausting.  It's a curse for us Introverted parents.  I mean, every parent is chronically tired, but the Introverted mother finds no peace. 

You'd think with this exhaustion I would want to sleep whenever I could but I find myself wanting to stay up late, even avoiding an opportunity for a little Sunday afternoon nap in favor of...silence. 

Blessed, blessed silence.

Sleep is great but before you know it you're awake again and the noise starts all over again, so I stay awake and revel in silence...or noise only I choose to make.  Usually I'm so over-extroverted that nothing truly productive gets done during these times but even totally exhausted time without a hyperactive three-year-old feels wonderful.  No grabby hands and high-pitched singing and endless questions...just me, by myself, on the whole couch. 

Sleep?  Sleep can wait.  Silence is calling.

Pasta Weekend and Other Gold-Star Mom Moments

This weekend Andrew was working at a Men's Retreat, and so, it was me and Little Nut mostly on our own.  Thursday night our family went to Olive Garden because they now have a "Buy one entree and take one home" deal and, hey, we're missionaries...and I hate to cook.

I calculated that if the three of us shared two entrees on Thursday night, Nut Boy and I could share one take-home entree on Friday and one on Saturday, thereby eliminating the need to make dinner for two days!  Mmmmm....we love pasta so much we'll eat it for three days!  And that's just what we did.  I mean, of course, I microwaved some canned green beans as a side one night and even cooked some carrots the next!  And, Olive Garden provides a nice microwaveable bowl and lid to reheat the pasta, which also double nicely as plates (Nut Boy with the bowl, and I with the lid).  And that is the tale of our delicious, although not very nutritious, Pasta Weekend.

Also, having been Andrew's birthday (he's old, I mean, 35) this weekend we made the most ginormous ice cream cookie sandwiches you have ever seen.  Mainly they turned out that way because I rarely bake and overestimated the size needed for a slightly larger than normal sized cookie!  And, like any good Mom who knows the risk of salmonella and yet still feels the joys of eating cookie dough are worth the risk for her children, I allowed this...

And, all of this pasta eating and salmonella risking, was done in between copious amounts of movie watching.  That thing about TVs corroding your brain...totally a myth.  I've been fighting a cold all week and, considering it's about the only time Nut Boy will sit still and stop talking (I mean, seriously, I think he has a secret stash of coffee beans somewhere), I've had him spend more time than usual in front of the Boob Tube.  So much apparently that the other day he actually ASKED to do "School Time."  I choose to see that as if I have instilled in him a great love of learning, that in the face of watching yet another movie he chose tracing letters and doing flashcards!  He passed the test.  Me on the other hand?

And then there is Halloween.  I grew up not celebrating Halloween and never really gave it much thought until we had a kid.  I've decided that there is much freedom in Christ, and I have no moral qualms with dressing up and eating candy...we don't celebrate evil...Jesus is Lord every day in our home.  But, I have found that in this freedom I now find myself in a quandary.  The truth is, I don't really feel like expending the energy to make a costume and do one more thing...ministry and chores and other activities for the child make our days full.  So, my kid is not dressing up today, not because I believe it's wrong, but because I choose to do other things with my time.  Is that bad to say out loud?

So, let's review...

Abuse of take-out food and relying on canned veggies to provide nutrition.  Check.

Only feeling a tiny twinge of guilt as my child licks potentially life-threatening cookie dough.  Check.

Using TV to babysit my son when I'm sick or trying to get a moment of life-saving relative silence.  Check.

Depriving my kid of the childhood joys of Halloween dress-up and candy for my own sanity.  Check.

Yeah, I'm that Mom. Whose handing out the gold stars??

Work it Out

I am task-oriented and I love a good project.  Work to me, at least work that involves something I find interesting, doesn't really feel like work.  There have been seasons of ministry where I have worked from 7 in the morning until midnight on a regular basis because there were project deadlines and programs to run, and while it was a season in which I experienced tremendous burnout, it wasn't so much the long hours as the projects themselves and the baggage that went with them that wore me down. 

Needless to say, "work" can become my life very quickly.  I am energized by production.  Unfortunately, during the insane and crazy season of ministry (and the accompanying burnout) my marriage became second priority...the INTJs default, "Tasks over people!" 

At the bottom of burnout hell I realized a lot of things had to change.  I took a step back and tried to set some healthier rhythms in place, not just for me, but also for my husband.  Now we have a son, a nutty three-year-old bouncing off the walls who craves attention.  It wreaks havoc on my productivity. 

I'm currently back in a ministry setting where projects are numerous and I am getting a serious itch to be insanely productive.  I can hardly stop thinking about the To-Do list sitting on my desk...not in a bad way, but in a sick and twisted, I-can't-wait-another-second-to-go-finish-my-project way. My preferred work style is "work straight through until it's done."  But, three-year-olds don't feed themselves, and, oh my, where did our kitchen counter go under all those dishes?

So it's a constant give and take, take and give rather...take 5 projects and give 3 back.  It's hard for me to keep in mind that this is a season.  But, my zany little boy won't be running around the house saying "Mama, look at me!" forever.  I'm comfortable with being a work-aholic, but life isn't just about how productive we are.  Mostly it's about how faithful we are to steward the gifts God has given us for His glory...and the relationships He's given us are a part of that too.

I won't give up on projects, and I'm always going to push the edge of being in full-time ministry AND being a wife and mother, but for now, I need to grow comfortable with a new level of productivity, one that includes playing pointless board games from time to time and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Some Days

Some days I feel on edge all day...everyone is annoying.  I'm angry with Little Man because, well, he's three.  And then I feel guilty for feeling angry, but not quite guilty enough to stop being angry.  I'm agitated and on the verge of going nuts and not a single person says a single intelligent thing all day (or so it seems to me).

Yesterday was one of those days.

I have come to recognize that while I am genetically predisposed to annoyance, an all day anger affair--such as yesterday--usually means I've done too much extroverting. 

But what do you do when you're extroverted-out and you have a full schedule and a three-year-old clinging to your leg saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama..."?  Generally, I spend the day wanting to punch people.  But, this is good for no one.

I have spent the last year trying to figure out healthier rhythms for my life.  Some weeks I am successful at inserting time to recharge, others, not so much. 

Summer time in our ministry is hectic and filled with people...usually the perfect storm for an Introvert to go crazy!!  Yesterday launched my first summer schedule with a crazy little nut boy around the house and it's clear that I will have to be intentional with my time to not lose it!   It's not easy to share the love of Christ with people when their very existence is causing me agitation.

It's not easy to push back the crowding tasks and people and give my soul the space it needs to breathe, but it is necessary.  Here's to doing a better job at intentional recharging...and not wanting to punch people all day long :)!

One Point for Mama

I'm not a warm and fuzzy mother.  I don't worry about every little bump and bruise or if he will be unhealthy if he misses a meal.  I don't endorse extensive crying, even upon injury.  I encourage Little Nut Nut's wild adventures, which often include pushing his physical limits and testing his abilities.  How will he know what he can do if he can't try? 

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of hugs and words of affirmation.  I know our son feels secure and loved.  We also try to limit his dare devilish ways to jumping from no higher than 2 stairs and doing flips on softer surfaces.

I try to take the long view of parenting.  Most things even out in the end if you love your child, draw boundaries for them and keep them fed and watered...also, it goes a long way for your kids if you are not insane, just sayin.  Even though I don't worry about eating habits and whether or not he'll be dumb because I didn't do flash cards with him EVERY day this week, I do worry about behavior.  Not that you'd always know that by looking at my kid.  He is a sweet-spirited child but stubborn as heck.  As an extroverted boy, he has no qualms with loud and embarrassing demonstrations of his disappointment and/or rage. 

I think it's mainly my personality, but I LOVE to win.  It's so easy to get sucked into a battle mentality with my stubborn little three year old, and once that happens...heck if I'm gonna lose.  The problem is, in the world of constructive discipline that mentality doesn't get you very far.  Instead I end up crazy stressed out, angry, and still dealing with an obstinate little boy.  One day when I was at my wits end, my toddler drooling entirely-masticated "offending" food from his stubborn mouth, someone suggested I read Love and Logic for Early Childhood.  I bought that sucker on my Kindle within five minutes. 

It. Is. Awesome.  We're still working on how exactly to implement it all and of course there are still those days, but it is designed to take a lot of the frustration and anger out of parenting.  Can I hear an Amen! for that!!  (There are some aspects of the book that I don't totally agree with because it's not written from a Christian perspective, and for us, I feel it is best pared with the principles presented in One Becoming Toddlerwise.)  But, the basic premise of the Love and Logic technique is that as parents we are preparing our kids for the real world and should parent with techniques that teach them immediate cause and effect and guide them through their own problem solving. It requires accountability for actions, fixing things they've broken, paying with money, chores, or toys for time or items lost by their behaviour.

We started a Chore Box with age-appropriate chores to draw from when needed.  Our downstairs neighbors have heard a LOT of vacuuming lately!  He's been cleaning baseboards and dusting and sweeping.  I haven't had clean baseboards in, well, I don't know, but they're clean now!!  Of course, they are three-year-old-ability clean, but in a world where cleaning is not high on my list of priorities I'll take it.

So, while I realize it's not healthy to be in competition with my child over discipline issues...my house sure is clean :)...one point for Mama!

Introverted Mother. Extroverted Son.

I use, on average, fewer words than the average person in one day...certainly fewer than many of my fellow females.  When I hit a particularly chatty stretch I realize how unusual it is when my throat feels dry and overworked.  I like space and time to think.  I enjoy getting lost in the focus of a hobby, a good book, a work project.  I have a larger than normal personal bubble.  And then Little Man bulleted into our lives.

He's three and as extroverted as they come.  His average word usage is in the millions, well, probably not, but it feels that way.  He ricochets around the house and his lips move even faster than his feet.  How is it that every sentence begins with "Mama!"  There is incessant talking.  To me.  To his toys.  To his imaginary friends.  To no one in particular.  And, while toddlers aren't known for their personal boundaries, "Say it, don't spray it" is a regular slogan in our house as his little nose and fingers and arms invade any shred of personal space left!  It may embrass me to talk loudly or draw attention to myself in public, but, much to my humiliation, my little guy has no problem pointing and shouting, "Mama, look at that man's big eyebrows!"  And, to him, any open space is a stage, where signing and dancing can entertain all (thankfully he's three and it's still considered cute, I'm hoping I don't still have an air-guitar playing thirteen year old!).

Seven months into it I know that motherhood is not easy, but I think it can be particularly difficult for us introverts.  Being a Mom requires constant extroverting.  There is always a need, a cry, a grabbing hand, a question, a body clinging to your leg, or a blood-curdling scream to attend to.  Some days, I have searched for space in every possible opportunity, even taking to the kitchen to cook a meal!  Perhaps not a shocking statement unless you know how much I detest cooking (I'm pretty good with quesadillas though).

I love my funny, extroverted boy.  I love being able to hear him processing and learning all day.  I love his enthusiasm and wild, animated gestures.  But, an extroverted child requires even more verbal and physical interaction in a day, which means that noise you hear at 1 and 8 PM every day is me singing the hallelujah chorus as his little head hits the pillow! 

My little extrovert challenges me every day to learn and grow. One lesson my verbose son is modeling for his often taciturn mother is what verbal affirmation looks like. Encouragement flows from him with ease. "I love you, Mama," "Thank you for cooking lunch," "You are such a good cleaner. It makes me so happy. I'm so proud of you." I tell him God made him a very good encourager and that his encouragements are special gifts he can give people, and then I take notes on how to do better with that in my own life. 

I love that one of my roles is being a mom.  Sometimes Andrew and I sit around wondering what we ever did to entertain ourselves before our little Nut was around.  But, it is just one of my roles and if I am to balance all of them well, I have to be healthy!  I have to have time to retreat to my quiet place so that I can engage with him later (and not go stark raving mad!). Otherwise, he only gets a half-present, eyes-glazed-over me.  However, I'm realizing healthy rhythms don't happen naturally.  I have to be intentional and that takes discipline...something I'm not always good at implementing in my life. 

Being an introverted mother to an extroverted son requires me to intentionally create a give and take in our relationship, granted more give on my part, where we both learn and grow and become well-rounded people.  For example, we have worked up to thirty minutes of quiet time into his daily routine (this is in addition to other times that he plays on his own), where he gets to read books or do puzzles or anything not involving his guitar and screamer-rock in his room, and I get to sit on the couch and breathe or read or stare at the wall.  Sometimes, as an introvert, just sitting in a room where furniture is my only company feels like I'm breathing in freedom.  At first he didn't like it, but he's learning that a little space and quiet never hurt anyone...in fact it can be life-saving (his to be precise, ha).  Then, having had a few minutes of space I can invest more of me into time spent with him.

I'm also blessed to have a husband who sees the ins and outs of child raising as a team effort. He gladly takes over when I need a break, often gets up with the kid and lets me sleep a few extra minutes, and takes his role as a dad very seriously.  He whole-heartedly supports me pursuing my passions, and we have the blessing of flexibility as missionaries to take parenting shifts.  He encourages me to take time to invest in our ministry and I am so grateful for that.  Being able to use my gifts and talents in and outside the home helps me remember that I'm an important part of God's Kingdom work!

Through trial and error I'm working on getting into a healthy rhythm.  Ideally it will include regular devotional times, exercise, daily (intentional) activities with Little Man, scheduled work hours where I can be out of the house and contributing to ministry, a weekly outting by myself to drink coffee, think, and write, among other things.  So far it's a work in progress.

We're women, not just moms, and as Christ-followers we have to steward our lives to serve the Lord.  We can't be everthing to everyone, but we can be who God created us to be!  Don't just take my word for it.  Much of the reading material that has fueled my thoughts in this area are the following...

• Don't Carpe Diem - A post from Momastery about surviving motherhood!
• Mothering as an Introvert - A helpful post full of tips for saving your mental health as an Introverted Mother!
• The Missional Mom: Living with Purpose at Home and in the World - A must read for all Christian mothers!  The book explores in both Biblical and practical ways the truth that women were made to be followers of Christ; which often includes but is not limited to our roles as mothers.
• Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture - This book has so many helpful truths about living to our fullest as Introverts and setting healthy rhythms for our lives.
• On Becoming Toddlerwise & On Becoming Childwise - A lot of wisdom about parenting young kids are packed into these books!  Our own "quiet times" are a result of some of the suggestions in them.