One Point for Mama

I'm not a warm and fuzzy mother.  I don't worry about every little bump and bruise or if he will be unhealthy if he misses a meal.  I don't endorse extensive crying, even upon injury.  I encourage Little Nut Nut's wild adventures, which often include pushing his physical limits and testing his abilities.  How will he know what he can do if he can't try? 

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of hugs and words of affirmation.  I know our son feels secure and loved.  We also try to limit his dare devilish ways to jumping from no higher than 2 stairs and doing flips on softer surfaces.

I try to take the long view of parenting.  Most things even out in the end if you love your child, draw boundaries for them and keep them fed and watered...also, it goes a long way for your kids if you are not insane, just sayin.  Even though I don't worry about eating habits and whether or not he'll be dumb because I didn't do flash cards with him EVERY day this week, I do worry about behavior.  Not that you'd always know that by looking at my kid.  He is a sweet-spirited child but stubborn as heck.  As an extroverted boy, he has no qualms with loud and embarrassing demonstrations of his disappointment and/or rage. 

I think it's mainly my personality, but I LOVE to win.  It's so easy to get sucked into a battle mentality with my stubborn little three year old, and once that happens...heck if I'm gonna lose.  The problem is, in the world of constructive discipline that mentality doesn't get you very far.  Instead I end up crazy stressed out, angry, and still dealing with an obstinate little boy.  One day when I was at my wits end, my toddler drooling entirely-masticated "offending" food from his stubborn mouth, someone suggested I read Love and Logic for Early Childhood.  I bought that sucker on my Kindle within five minutes. 

It. Is. Awesome.  We're still working on how exactly to implement it all and of course there are still those days, but it is designed to take a lot of the frustration and anger out of parenting.  Can I hear an Amen! for that!!  (There are some aspects of the book that I don't totally agree with because it's not written from a Christian perspective, and for us, I feel it is best pared with the principles presented in One Becoming Toddlerwise.)  But, the basic premise of the Love and Logic technique is that as parents we are preparing our kids for the real world and should parent with techniques that teach them immediate cause and effect and guide them through their own problem solving. It requires accountability for actions, fixing things they've broken, paying with money, chores, or toys for time or items lost by their behaviour.

We started a Chore Box with age-appropriate chores to draw from when needed.  Our downstairs neighbors have heard a LOT of vacuuming lately!  He's been cleaning baseboards and dusting and sweeping.  I haven't had clean baseboards in, well, I don't know, but they're clean now!!  Of course, they are three-year-old-ability clean, but in a world where cleaning is not high on my list of priorities I'll take it.

So, while I realize it's not healthy to be in competition with my child over discipline issues...my house sure is clean :)...one point for Mama!