The Off Switch

As a Dominant Introverted Intuitive, life is experienced from the inside out, and what's on the inside is big, Big, BIG (no chubby jokes, please).  It can be exciting, the world of ideas, but sometimes when those thoughts get filled with emotion, and heavy with confusion, the weight of them feels too much to bear.  I've sunk to some pretty dark places under their weight.  It's then that I am notorious about finding the "Off Switch"...any coping mechanism that will let me check out mentally, which includes mindless activities such as eating (again, quell the jokes), watching TV, and generally disengaging from relationships.  And, occasionally, I don't really know what to think and so I just let tasks take over.

Of course, the latter is much more outwardly productive, but more tasks make less room for relationships, which, ultimately, (as ideal as the thought may sound at times) is counterproductive for Kingdom-work.

I've been challenged recently to think about my actions as a pathway for the Holy Spirit to change my mind.  Instead of trying to make my thoughts and feelings change (which is darn near impossible), change my actions and let the Spirit draw my heart toward a rendezvous with those right actions.  More or less, reverse engineering.  For someone who lives on the inside so much this seems foreign, but I know there is wisdom in it. 

However, it doesn't mean flipping the "Off Switch" and completely disconnecting from what's going on inside.  I can't use actions as a means of denial, but as an acknowledgement of the inner chaos and a form of discipline for my wayward heart and mind.  Without that connection the actions are just the spinning of a top--going nowhere fast but back to where I've been.

Some days I need to take a moment to sort through my emotions, but most days I just need to get up and do what my heart doesn't want to...the wisdom is in knowing which day it is, and the knowing only comes from the illumination of the Holy Spirit.

 

"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."